Monday 14 November 2011

Pie Heaven

OK, we'll start with a goodie: Piefection in Mt Gravatt. Piefection describes itself as 'gourmet', which in pie terms is usually an adjective to describe tiny, overpriced pies with dry and/or tasteless filling that leaves you wondering why the hell you bothered.

I once had a 'gourmet' pie (a duck and pea pie, no less) in Aria Sydney on a rare day that Matt Moran wasn't filming something for TV, and it was exactly that: dry, and 'orrible. My wife was too embarrassed to let me order some gravy to moisten the crumbly, overcooked pastry case and loosen the congealed mess within, so I ordered another bottle of red instead. A man's not a camel, after all. But I digress. Piefection is the other kind of gourmet pie - one where the ingredients are lovingly prepared and skillfully assembled by a master craftsman who isn't working on his 'Blue Steel' face for Masterchef.

Whilst the size and price of Piefection's pies could be the topic of hot debate, if this place doesn't sell the hands-down best pie in Brisbane, I'm not here. I ventured down there one lunchtime with a like-minded friend, and we ordered 4 pies and a wagyu sausage roll between us (the pies really aren't that big - honest). We were served by the owner - and chef - Matt Roman. Nice bloke. Very welcoming. Knows pies. Over his shoulder were huge pots of bubbling filling, reducing in their own juices for the next batch of pie-genius.

We had the Butter Chicken, Lamb Shank & Rosemary, Guinness Beef & Mushroom, and the holy grail of pies - the JD BBQ Pork Rib. The pastry was light, flaky and full of golden buttery goodness; glowing orange like Posh Beckham after a fresh coat of spray tan. The chicken, lamb, and beef pies were all good, but the star of the show was the pork. After the first bite, I knew I was in love...that this store would call me back with its sweet porky siren song for years to come.

The inside of this pie had tender deboned pork baby back ribs like you find in the States, but the piece de resistance was the dollop of Jack Daniels smokey BBQ sauce sitting right there on top of the meat underneath the lid. In the words of Will Ferrell in Old School: 'It tastes so good once it hits your lips! FILL IT UP AGAIN, I'LL DO ONE MORE!'

So Piefection isn't the cheapest thing getting around. You could always add the mushy peas / mash / chips / drink and make a combo if you have to. Or you could give your heart a rub, dig deep for a good cause, and buy a couple of 'em. Go on - you know you want to.

4 comments:

  1. What an entertaining & humorous piece. You clearly have a passion and love of pies that goes well beyond the standard "four n twenty" from the freezer. I must admit, I have had serveral pies from Piefection, all excellent, and your description of the shop and your experince made me feel like i was almost there with you.
    Good Work & Good Luck with the search for the best pie (although i fear you may have already found it!)...i look forward to you next installment.

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  2. Thanks Pieologist. Are you interested in interstate pie boutiques? One worth considering it the Upper Crust in Long Reef in Sydney. Great location but even better pies. The ace ingredient? The temperature. yes, the temperature. A pie must be eaten at a temperature that is challenging for the gums and tongue, yet not so hot that it burns. it must be capable of large mouthfuls (full being the operative syllable) so you feel it in the back of your throat (steady girls)but it must not be tepid. Pieologist, are you able to give us your wisdom on the subject of temperature?

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  3. Russell, as a wee lad, I used to live at Collaroy and made the Saturday morning pilgrimage - along with the rest of the northern beaches population - to The Upper Crust for a Tuna & Avocado or Beef Burgundy pie. I agree completely that they sell some of the best pies known to man. As for temperature, you've nailed it. You are obviously a very intelligent man, and I'm thinking of putting you on staff here at Pie Towers. There's nothing more frustrating than blowing cool air onto a pie when you're gagging to demolish it after the first enthusiastic bite has left you with burnt flesh hanging from the roof of your mouth. The wait between bites is agonising - like watching Quade Cooper go through his kicking routine. You take little baby bites to fool yourself into thinking that you're getting somewhere with it (but you're not). Your best bet if you find yourself in this situation is to go back in the pie shop, order a sausage roll (which will never be quite as hot due to the solid nature of the meat) and eat that while your pie cools. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you compromise the structural integrity of the pie by removing the lid. A quiet word to the bakery staff could also be in order; but it's always funny to watch the next bloke do the same thing you just did...

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  4. Firstly Mike_W, thank you for your question and my apologies for the late response - my dwarf minions didn't alert me to the fact that I had outstanding mail. They are being reprogrammed as we speak.

    In fact just today I had a conversation with my roving reporter. 12 months ago I sent him from Pie Towers telling him not to return until he had a full report on the elusive pie floater that some say used to inhabit the Adelaide CBD. I tried to locate one myself 2 years ago without success (even with the assistance of cab drivers), but he assures me that he has had one recently. It was late at night, he was drunk (a common theme with the floater it would seem), and hence failed to take a photo or any notes. He has vowed to have a full report on my desk early in 2012...stay tuned.

    When I lived in London, I had a pie and liquor, which is a pie sitting in green sauce which has been coloured by parsley. It was disgraceful, and the pie had a suet crust - enough to make a monkey bite its mother.

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