The Fernvale bakery is as old as Methuselah and has more awards than Michael Phelps. The banner out the front states that they are the most awarded pie shop in Queensland, and I believe it. The pie bag says that they've won over 50 medals at the Aussie Pie Competition in the last 5 years. Impressive. They also do a roaring trade from the constant supply of grey nomads towing caravans, water skiers on their way to Somerset Dam and the thousands of motorcyclists - myself included - that enjoy a blast over Mt Glorious on a Saturday morning.
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| Yep, it's a big menu all right |
Some say the menu is daunting; others simply crap themselves with excitement, but one important thing to bear in mind when you walk through the door is this: they're not all available all the time, so don't panic. They couldn't possibly be, either; I counted 16 different *breeds of cattle* just in their 'beef pie' range. Talk about 'have it your way'... they've got all the greats: Angus, Brahman, Murray Grey, Charolais, Poll Hereford, Ankole-Watusi (OK, I might have got that last one from Wikipedia but you get the idea).
In my many visits to TOFB, my experiences have been patchy, but as a long-term Wallaby supporter I'm used to unexpected joy followed by incredulous disappointment the next time around. Samoa I can understand, but bloody SCOTLAND?!?
And it's a bit the same with TOFB. One week you'll experience something quite remarkable like a corned beef and white sauce pie and two weeks later eagerly anticipate another triumph when ordering a roast pork pie that promises the world but just doesn't show up...and you're left wondering - how did they get one so right and the other so wrong?
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| Corned Beef & White Onion Sauce - doesn't that pastry look great? |
First, the corned beef pie must be qualified by saying that this pie is excellent as long as you like corned beef in white sauce. If you don't, this pie isn't going to magically convert you or anything, but if you do this pie will immediately take you back to those dinners you had at Nanna's place.
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| Oh, hells-yeah...cheesy whitey oniony goodness |
The sauce is thick and creamy with a hint of onion, the chunks of silverside are flaky, juicy, and plentiful, and the pastry is spot on. Heat is good, size is bordering on large, it holds together well structurally, it costs about $5 (maybe a smidge under even), and drives over the line under the posts after 18 phases for an easy 8.5/10. An easy win from the whistle.
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| Mmmmm, chunkalicious |
The roast pork pie could have been anything. It could have had one of those tan brown gravies that you get on a roast pork counter lunch down at the pub, it could have been paired with baked apple like at Nanna's. It could even have been paired with fennel and calvados, like at Nonna's. It was none of those things.
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| I'd actually prefer it overcooked than undercooked (see In A Pickle, last month) |
The pastry was fine, the size, price, and structural integrity were all OK, but it was missing the key ingredient that all good roast pork has - lashings of salt. What's the first thing you think of when you imagine roast pork? Crackling, that's what. In all of its crunchy, salty, artery-clogging, tooth-snapping goodness. And you automatically think if it first because it's hands-down the best bit of a roast pork dinner. I bet you're thinking about it right now, aren't you? And I'll bet you can taste it too; because its one of those great flavours you never forget, just like popcorn, coffee, or a Cohiba Maduro 5.
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| Check the colour of that gravy - clear and gelatinous. A dead giveaway to the trained eye... |
Of course crackling is impossible to get in a pie (unless you're at The Pocket, Moffat Beach that is), but it's the salt that makes the cracking great, and its the salt you lick off your fingers that stays on your tongue and encourages you to swill more booze. So if you were making a roast pork pie, you'd be sure to add some salt to evoke those memories, wouldn't you? Well, apparently not. The meat itself was nice and moist, but the gravy was so bland that it was just a 'nothing' pie...a massively disappointing 6/10 is about all I can muster.
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| The pork & cider pie from The Pocket at Moffat Beach... that's a sliver of crackling sitting there on top! |
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| Plain pie - don't know why it's square when all the others are round |
I've also had a beef curry pie out there. It's a different shape, size, and is a Keens type 1 mincemeat pie. It ticked all the boxes but was completely unremarkable in every way without being bad. I'm inclined to give another 6/10. I know that I've given the pork pie a 6/10 as well but given it a fair kicking in the above review, but with a good gravy that pie should have been 8+. It just shits me when good ingredients aren't dealt with appropriately.
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| Chunky Lamb Curry |
The lamb curry pie above and below is however pretty good - the gravy is nothing to write home about - just your standard Kenns curry - but the chunks of lamb are juicy and tender, and sure to be a winner if you're a chunky-pie kind of person. I was happy to give this one a 7/10 (more heat from the curry would have improved the score).
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| Good quality lamb and a good proportion of lamb to gravy. |
Overall, Ye Olde Fernvale Bakery is worth a visit if you happen to be out that way. I haven't exactly raved about it above I know, but I eat a lot of pies and I have pretty high standards as a result...there's a lot of crap out there. I wouldn't include Fernvale in that basket - it's above average and I'm sure there are other gems just waiting to be found in that huge menu.
Until next time, take care.
Pieologist
