Oxford Street Bakery, Bulimba

Lamb Vindaloo Pie

This bakery is smack-bang in the middle of the electorate of a former ‘blubbing’ PM, disgruntled former Foreign Minister, and now backbench-warmer, Kevin ‘Tintin’ Rudd. KRudd. The Rudd-meister. The Kevinator. You may have heard of him.

I’d like to give you a review of this bakery in terms of detailed programmatic specificity, but I can already hear you saying, ‘fair suck of the sauce bottle, mate, just be ridgy-didge and hit us with the facts’. Because that's how all normal Australians speak. And as I’ve proven myself to be a popular man of the people….a rockstar hero to the common man - much like our former head of government – I’ll do just that. After all; I don’t need another shit-storm on my hands.

The Oxford St bakery is apparently family-owned, and the owner has an alleged reputation for being a complete mole. I don’t know why I threw that in since I didn't see her, but a LOT of people in the Twittersphere have commented about her attitude towards the paying public. A lot. So be warned, and get ready to throw helicopter punches if you cop any lip.

Kevin The Milky Bar Kid was nowhere to be seen as I ambled into this pocket-sized bakery…he was probably chatting to some big hitters in Beijing about Australian Working Families and their need for a couple of trillion Yuan. Perhaps he was abusing a trolley dolly over the lack of vegan options in first class. Maybe he was sitting on the back deck at Norman Park with Therese eating his ear wax. I’m not sure. It’s packed full of protein, don’t you know….it gave Kevin the energy to defeat John Howard in ‘07 (mind you, Howard’s name doesn’t even rhyme with oh-seven, so he didn’t stand a chance against a jingo-tastic campaign like Ruddy’s).

Kevin’s tasty earwax:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ipvdBnU8F8

When I lobbed, the bakery was playing host to a huge crowd; almost like a boat-full of freshly minted asylum seekers had just docked at the Bulimba City Cat terminal; but they seemed more interested in the (apparently delicious) cupcakes than pies, so I didn’t have to pretend I was from the Department of Immigration to make sure there were some left by the time I got to the counter.

Amongst the many tasty looking menu options, the first thing that jumped out at me was a lamb Vindaloo pie.

This pie was a rollicking joyride of fun and frivolity from start to finish; just like Craig Thomson’s Mastercard statement. And at $6.80 for a standard sized pie, you’d need the might of the Health Services Union behind you to foot the bill, too.

Remember, that for $6.80, you could get yourself 3 double-cheeseburgers from McDonalds, and have enough left over for a soft-serve ice cream cone…and still get change. It’s not the sort of price that Australian working families can afford (even if you've got some free insulation, a $900 household stimulus payment, baby bonus, first home buyer's grant, and improved penalty rates under your new award); and it’s clearly the fault of the previous Howard government...and Work Choices. 

Just think yourself lucky that the tireless efforts of our dagger-wielding, world’s-greatest-ever-treasurer, Swannie saved us from the GFC by spending like a drunken sailor - otherwise you wouldn’t be able to afford them at all.

The top of the pie was super-flaky and buttery, but held together underneath by a skin that supported the structural integrity nicely. As you can see from the photo, the base is fairly substantial, but I didn’t feel that it was too thick or doughy and it ate really well. I wasn’t driving on the advice of my personal nurse, but I did eat this one whilst sitting in the car and there were no issues with lap-spillage. 

The filling is honestly something you’d be happy to receive in a restaurant. You can see all the herbs and spices and goodies in there, and the meat was delicate, moist, and fall-apart tender. I had to take this second shot because I bit through the pie and this is what remained – the other half of these chunks were in my mouth without any effort on my part… we’re down to the last two bites of the pie here, and it is still crammed full of meaty goodness - like one of Julia's speeches. The Vindaloo sauce was really good too – my lips were tingling for a full 5 minutes after eating. Internal temperature was spot-on.

I’m scoring this pie a solid 9/10, with points deducted for the budgetary blow-out, but overall it was a pretty spectacular pie.

So whilst the Oxford St bakery may not present us with the greatest moral challenge of our generation, it does challenge us to dig deep and come up with the numbers for a second round. For the good of the Australian working family that owns the Oxford Street Bakery. Heck, for the good of all Australian working families. I've had a look at the forward estimates from Treasury, and between you and me, I know I’ll be back….


And in news just to hand: Being held up at knifepoint? Simple – just start chucking pies at your assailant!

This little gem was in the Courier Mail yesterday (thanks Chris):

http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/weird/shop-owners-fight-off-armed-robber-by-throwing-pies-at-him/story-e6frep26-1226282002178




Oh, did I mention Australian working families?