Oxford Street Bakery, Bulimba

Lamb Vindaloo Pie

This bakery is smack-bang in the middle of the electorate of a former ‘blubbing’ PM, disgruntled former Foreign Minister, and now backbench-warmer, Kevin ‘Tintin’ Rudd. KRudd. The Rudd-meister. The Kevinator. You may have heard of him.

I’d like to give you a review of this bakery in terms of detailed programmatic specificity, but I can already hear you saying, ‘fair suck of the sauce bottle, mate, just be ridgy-didge and hit us with the facts’. Because that's how all normal Australians speak. And as I’ve proven myself to be a popular man of the people….a rockstar hero to the common man - much like our former head of government – I’ll do just that. After all; I don’t need another shit-storm on my hands.

The Oxford St bakery is apparently family-owned, and the owner has an alleged reputation for being a complete mole. I don’t know why I threw that in since I didn't see her, but a LOT of people in the Twittersphere have commented about her attitude towards the paying public. A lot. So be warned, and get ready to throw helicopter punches if you cop any lip.

Kevin The Milky Bar Kid was nowhere to be seen as I ambled into this pocket-sized bakery…he was probably chatting to some big hitters in Beijing about Australian Working Families and their need for a couple of trillion Yuan. Perhaps he was abusing a trolley dolly over the lack of vegan options in first class. Maybe he was sitting on the back deck at Norman Park with Therese eating his ear wax. I’m not sure. It’s packed full of protein, don’t you know….it gave Kevin the energy to defeat John Howard in ‘07 (mind you, Howard’s name doesn’t even rhyme with oh-seven, so he didn’t stand a chance against a jingo-tastic campaign like Ruddy’s).

Kevin’s tasty earwax:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ipvdBnU8F8

When I lobbed, the bakery was playing host to a huge crowd; almost like a boat-full of freshly minted asylum seekers had just docked at the Bulimba City Cat terminal; but they seemed more interested in the (apparently delicious) cupcakes than pies, so I didn’t have to pretend I was from the Department of Immigration to make sure there were some left by the time I got to the counter.

Amongst the many tasty looking menu options, the first thing that jumped out at me was a lamb Vindaloo pie.

This pie was a rollicking joyride of fun and frivolity from start to finish; just like Craig Thomson’s Mastercard statement. And at $6.80 for a standard sized pie, you’d need the might of the Health Services Union behind you to foot the bill, too.

Remember, that for $6.80, you could get yourself 3 double-cheeseburgers from McDonalds, and have enough left over for a soft-serve ice cream cone…and still get change. It’s not the sort of price that Australian working families can afford (even if you've got some free insulation, a $900 household stimulus payment, baby bonus, first home buyer's grant, and improved penalty rates under your new award); and it’s clearly the fault of the previous Howard government...and Work Choices. 

Just think yourself lucky that the tireless efforts of our dagger-wielding, world’s-greatest-ever-treasurer, Swannie saved us from the GFC by spending like a drunken sailor - otherwise you wouldn’t be able to afford them at all.

The top of the pie was super-flaky and buttery, but held together underneath by a skin that supported the structural integrity nicely. As you can see from the photo, the base is fairly substantial, but I didn’t feel that it was too thick or doughy and it ate really well. I wasn’t driving on the advice of my personal nurse, but I did eat this one whilst sitting in the car and there were no issues with lap-spillage. 

The filling is honestly something you’d be happy to receive in a restaurant. You can see all the herbs and spices and goodies in there, and the meat was delicate, moist, and fall-apart tender. I had to take this second shot because I bit through the pie and this is what remained – the other half of these chunks were in my mouth without any effort on my part… we’re down to the last two bites of the pie here, and it is still crammed full of meaty goodness - like one of Julia's speeches. The Vindaloo sauce was really good too – my lips were tingling for a full 5 minutes after eating. Internal temperature was spot-on.

I’m scoring this pie a solid 9/10, with points deducted for the budgetary blow-out, but overall it was a pretty spectacular pie.

So whilst the Oxford St bakery may not present us with the greatest moral challenge of our generation, it does challenge us to dig deep and come up with the numbers for a second round. For the good of the Australian working family that owns the Oxford Street Bakery. Heck, for the good of all Australian working families. I've had a look at the forward estimates from Treasury, and between you and me, I know I’ll be back….


And in news just to hand: Being held up at knifepoint? Simple – just start chucking pies at your assailant!

This little gem was in the Courier Mail yesterday (thanks Chris):

http://www.couriermail.com.au/entertainment/weird/shop-owners-fight-off-armed-robber-by-throwing-pies-at-him/story-e6frep26-1226282002178




Oh, did I mention Australian working families?

Beefys - multiple locations

Red Curry Lamb Pie

I know that this week I promised you a review of the Golden King at Ashgrove, but I've just looked at my notes, and they are exactly that - notes. Not what you've come to expect from me, i.e: quality. So Golden King will have to wait. Instead, I have a couple of rippers for you after last week's dungers from Bulimba.

I have a great dealer / enabler. He calls in every now and then to drop off some more 'samples'. Last week, he announced that he had been to Beefys, and thought I might like to review their special pie (a Thai red curry lamb and vegetable), and their signature pie, the angus beef. So he had picked me up a couple of cold ones to heat up at my leisure. Great bloke.

I had been to Beefys before on several occasions and couldn't help but be impressed with the quality of their product. Their (Type 1) curry beef pie could use a little more Keens, but everything else was very good or better, and the menu contains some unusual options for the pie-curious, such as the Mexican, Thai green chicken curry, chicken honey and soy, and steak sweet chilli and onion...along with regular favorites such as the Ned Kelly.

Beefys has 4 outlets: at the Moby Dicks servo on the Bruce Highway southbound near Glasshouse; Buderim; just near the Ettamogah Pub / Aussie World on the Bruce Hwy northbound; and Ningi...wherever the hell *that* is. This puts Beefys - in the minds of some people out there in internet-land - into the 'franchise' category of bakery, and therefore beneath them. We should pity these poor fools for their ignorance, but at the same time rejoice...because that means more pies for us.

Cooked at home from frozen @ 180 for 40 min with egg wash.

Red Curry Lamb

Lovely golden colour with light flaky top. Temperature perfect because I heated it myself. Pie size is 'oversize' due to the thickness of the pie and it's filling rather than it's diameter. I could possibly attempt 2 in one sitting, but would probably need to lie down and rub my belly for a few hours afterwards.

The base was firmer than Pippa Middleton's and would ace the driving test. Filling was solid and not very viscous; without being like a bottle of Clag. You could set this thing down half eaten on a plate and the filling would stay put and wait for you until the end of time.

Type 2 curry pie (Thai red curry). Excellent balance of flavor and heat with the sweetness of the red curry coming through loud and clear.

This thing had more veges than a market garden, with onion, capsicum, beans, peas, and my old nemesis - corn - all getting a look-in. A picky man would say that there were perhaps too many vegetables in there, but I'm happy to stave off scurvy for another day without having to resort to vitamin supplements or, heaven forbid, actually cooking my own.

The lamb was a combination of mince and slow-cooked chunks that were delicate and tender, and the pie was the sort of thing that you'd be happy to receive in a restaurant. Speaking of which, at $6.50 we're starting to get up there a bit (if the wife and kids decide they want one too, you're suddenly looking at a $26 lunch before you shell out another $10 for drinks), but as I've said before, quality costs and lamb isn't cheap these days (thanks to Sam Kekovich). It's also another good reason not to have kids.

As it was, the egg wash and perfect temperature were of my doing, resulting in a score of 8.5. I think that if you bought this hot from Beefys and ate it there it would probably rate a very solid 8/10, but attention to detail such as egg washing (take a bow, Piefection) separates the truly great pie shops from the also-rans and is worth half a point on its own. Maybe if the pie came in under the $6-mark I would have awarded another half point for value. All in all, the pie was a bit left field, a bit unusual, very tasty, and well worth a look if you feel like going off the reservation.

Angus Beef pie

Again, heated from cold at home...180 degrees from frozen for 40 minutes. No egg wash - because it didn't really need it. You could see from cold that this pie would step up when the heat was on...and step up it did.

A thing of beauty and a joy to behold (and be eating)

Nice appearance, buttery pastry lid with the word, 'ANGUS' branded authoritatively into the top of the oversize pie, so you don't forget that what you're eating is quality. Not that you could forget it; this is a seriously good unit.  I kept wanting to make notes, but couldn't put the pie down for long enough. I've made the photo extra-large so you can fully appreciate what's going on in there....

There are tender chunks of moist beef mixed with chunks of real mushroom (not champignons) and a hint of onion, all bound together with a thick beefy gravy with excellent viscosity and no hint of gelatin holding the whole ensemble together. This mushroom gave Crispy an unpleasant surprise when he ate his (possibly a flashback to a bad trip); but I found it to be a flavorsome addition. The colour is deep rich brown. The pie is completely devoid of rubbish - no lips and arseholes here, folks. I am rapidly becoming a BIG fan of Beefys. This pie was $5.95 and scores a 9.

The keen eyes amongst you will have also noticed that, due to some feedback I've received, the Leaderboard on the right hand side has now been separated into 'curry' and 'non-curry' categories for those who don't like curry pies and don't have the mental capacity to filter them out of a consolidated list (is there a correlation there, one wonders?). I have, for no particular reason, named the non-curry Leaderboard 'Roobs' List'. 

Cheers

Stockmans Pies, Oxford St Bulimba

This week, we have a guest review from my good mate Crispy on Stockmans Pies, Bulimba. So without further ado, it's over to Crispy:

How can something that started so well, end so badly?

 
I couldn’t wait to try the beef and beer pie from Stockmans Pies in Oxford St Bulimba. It presented extremely well, a nice  big-boy size that challenged you to finish it, great shape &, was crowned with a unique flakey puff pastry, on looks alone this had “possible winner” stamped all over it.




My first bite was awesome….a mouthful of the crisp, crunchy puff pastry, great texture and taste. My second bite was much the same and when the third was also very similar, I started to wonder the puff pastry was taking over the whole pie.

Eventually I ventured far enough into the pie to find that there was very little filing. The meat was just big chunks and there was virtually no mince or saucey goodness to bring it all together. And did I mention the meat was in BIG CHUNKS? I felt like I had cracked open a can of Chum….(it’s so chunky, you can carve it). 

The taste of the filling was very ordinary. It kinda tasted like the smell of stale beer. Remember when you would go into a pub with carpet and the smell of years of spilt beer would hit you as soon as you walked into the bar? (Like Rosie's Tavern after Thursday dollar drinks night- Pieologist) Somehow they have reconstructed that smell into a flavor & I really wished they hadn’t.

As I progressed through the pie, the structural integrity of the pie failed and the whole thing collapsed in a pile of pastry &  large chunks of Chum topped off with that perfect crisp puff pastry, which seem oblivious the fact the rest of the pie had disintegrated. 

Now at this point I was forced to break a golden rule of pie eating and I reached for a fork. If I had been driving while eating this pie, I would have been picking golf ball sized chunks of meat up from my crotch.

It was at this time I put the puff pastry to one side & reluctantly ate the giant chunks of stale beer tasting meat & remaining soft side pastry. Once this chore was complete, I rewarded myself with the top pastry which was still as stiff, crunchy and crisp as it was on my initial bite.

For me it’s a 3/10, without the puff pastry on top this pie would not be worth commenting on.

Pieologist: For what it's worth, I completely agree with the above assessment, having eaten the same pie, plus a steak and mushroom, which was no better. (I would have had curry, but didn't want to upset Roobs). How can something that looks so good turn out to be so bad? I mean, just look at the 'before' shot - they look magnificent. but upon the eating, they were atrocious. It was like a demolition derby. I was Herbie the love bug swerving. Giant boulders of meat were falling out everywhere. How can you have gravy that's too runny, and meat that's too dry all in the same pie? 

Once I cooked myself a beef bourguignon using good quality rump steak instead of gravy beef or beef cheek or one of those cheaper cuts that melts in your mouth with a bit of slow cooking. I used a good quality bottle of booze and all the right ingredients, which evolved into a delicious sauce over the space of 4 hours in the pot. Julia Child would have given me a pat on the head. But the first bite of meat revealed a dry, tough piece of beef which necessitated the opening of several more bottles of booze to lubricate proceedings.

Because - as I discovered, rump steak isn't designed for slow cooking. Oil it up, season liberally, slap onto a flame grill for a few minutes a side, rest, eat. Maaarvelous. Cook it slowly however, and all that flavoursome juice leeches out leaving behind dry muscle fibres.

So maybe it was the type of meat. I doubt Stockman's are using Black Angus rump, but maybe it's topside or something similar which lacks the fat and connective tissue that render down to silken gelatiny goodness. All I know is that it was dry and shithouse. Pies were traditionally all about using cheap cuts of meat, lips, arseholes, offal, and arteries and encasing it all in pastry - so you didn't have to look at the contents too closely - for a tasty meal....now it's all wagyu this and black angus that, and quite frankly I think it's all getting a bit out of hand.

Don't get me wrong; I'm happy that the move to quality means that we no longer have to put up with that ugly piece of artery poking out of the pie we've just bitten into - but by the same token, pie-makers of the world need to remember that if cooked properly, cheek, shin, mince and gravy beef are more tasty, tender, moist and flavoursome - and let's not forget cheaper - than some of the 'gourmet' ingredients we're seeing nowdays. I just realised that I'm starting to sound like grandpa Simpson, so I'll stop my rant there. For now. I do reserve the right to pick it up at a later point, though.

Now you guys know I wouldn't leave you in the the lurch, so I've sourced an alternative if you happen to find yourself trapped in that pretty little pocket of the Brisbane River with a hankering for pie.The good news is that there is a fantastic bakery 100m further down Oxford St Bulimba on the LHS, cunningly named 'The Oxford Street Bakery'. It's right opposite the pub, should you also be thirsty. I will post a review on it in the future, when I have had the opportunity to sample something other than the lamb vindaloo pie I had today (OMG it was sooo goooood and I'm dying to tell you all about it, but I've got Roobs to think of, so you'll all just have to wait).

As for the Stockmans score, I concur: 3/10 for the lid alone. Thanks to Crispy for his contributions and well-considered review. I have another guest review from little Pete for you this Friday.

I'd also like to pose a question today to you today:

Is a pie served in a bowl with a pastry topping (like a Guinness pie from an Irish pub for example) still a pie?

Please cast your vote below. If you have any comments to make on the above question, please feel free to do so in the comments section immediately below this posting. 

Thanks for reading!

Gerbinos Bread & Butter Bakery, Ashgrove

I stumbled across this one when I was heading over to the Golden King Bakery at Ashgrove. The building looked pretty flash, so I made the decision to kill two birds with one stone and pick one up on the way back rather than have a second Golden King pie as planned. I’m always thinkin, me.

When the sign on the front says ‘atrisan breads’, you know you’re in for a gourm-ett pie. Oh well, I shouldn’t have any trouble wedging it in on top of the Golden King curry beef then I thought, as I bounded up the front steps.

The shop is large and airy and spacious, with an abundance of staff, most of whom were having a chat about something not service-related while one poor girl ran around after the customers. She shot me a helpless look like this happens all the time. Not a good start. Artisan and up yourself, I thought, clearing my throat loudly enough for the group to stop talking mid-sentence and look my way. I stared back, with my best ‘whenever you’re ready’ look…eyebrows disappearing into my hairline. Someone blinked. It wasn’t me. The weakest of the herd separated herself slowly from the comfort of her sisters and headed on over.

‘Sorry to keep you waiting’, she said.

‘No problem’, says I, and turned my attention to the extensive – gourmet – menu. ‘What’s good?’

‘They’re all good’ Translation: ‘I’ve only worked here a week and haven’t tried any’; OR ‘I’m a vegetarian and no way one of those filthy things is going to touch my lips’. Either way, she wasn’t going to help me.

So I chose the Chilli Beef (see below). Those black specks on the top are toasted dry chilli flakes. Rather than being gourmet-sized as expected, it was a large standard. The pie had a solid, well-cooked pastry casing that wasn’t particularly flaky, but it had the structural integrity of a housebrick. Driving test? You could eat this thing between two fingers...whilst riding a motorbike…over the Andes. Top marks.

 

I bit into this baby and found the most unusual filling. It was tasty and well seasoned, with medium sized chunks of beef, and it was blacker than Idi Amin’s armpit. I’ve torn it apart like a terrier so that you could get a better look at the inner workings:

The meat and gravy were slightly at the gelatinous end of the viscosity spectrum, but the pie wasn’t dry at all. It had a nice temperature and level of heat (chilli) and a real richness about it. If it had any failing, it was the crust – top and bottom. There was just a bit much of it, and it was a bit tough to eat towards the end. It was also a bit dry and crunchy. For that reason, it receives a 7/10. In my book, pastry can be worth over a point if you're considering the top and base as separate items. With better pastry all round, I could have happily awarded a solid 8 for this pie.

This is the kind of bakery I’d like to return to, just to explore some of the other menu options. Perhaps they don't move a great number of Chilli Beef pies and maybe this one had been in the warmer for a while and become a bit solid... If anyone would like to help me out, please post your comments and/or email me a report with photos and I’ll be happy to publish them.

Later this week, I'll be posting a review from one of my minions. He has recently reviewed a couple of pies from Stockmans Pies at Bulimba - it's a story no family can afford to miss.

Next week, I'll post my review of the Golden King Bakery at Ashgrove as mentioned above.

STOP PRESS: the mayor of Melbourne contacted me after I name checked him in the Pie Face review and told me that he recently had an Emu pie somewhere in Melbournistan. When I asked him to email me the photos, I received the all-too-familiar response that he hadn't taken any - sorry. In fairness to the mayor, he's about the 10th person to say this to me.

If you do happen to come across a particularly good, bad, or unusual pie, please whip out the phone and take a couple of snaps of it and I will be more than happy to post them on the blog. We are a community bound together by the love of pies, after all - and sharing is caring.

Until next time, take care. 

W.