The World's Most Expensive Pie

This just in: The world's most expensive pie.

 

This is a Christmas / mince  pie and therefore not a 'real' pie, however 'The Pieologist' is on top of all things pie related, and I felt obliged to bring it to your attention in case you were stuck for Christmas gifts.

 

It does include one of my favourite pie ingredients - sugar derived from sperm whale secretions....which begs the question: how the f*ck do they harvest that? It must be a great conversation starter at parties: 'Me? I'm a sperm whale sample collector. Yes, really. The garbage bin? Oh, it's just a tool of the trade.'

 

The pie also includes holy water froum Lourdes (I'm assuming that this hasn't been harvested from Madonna's daughter). Presumably sick people haven't been bathing in it before being used in the pie, either....eeeeeww - that even grossed ME out. Sorry.

 

 

 

 

http://www.news.com.au/world/dont-mince-words-thats-one-expensive-pie-4700-christmas-pie-goes-on-display/story-e6frfkyi-1226203475694

A couple of responses from the punters

It's been an overwhelming response to my first posting, with letters, faxes, and emails flooding in from all over the globe. I wasn't aware that the law of unintended consequenses could actually work in a positive way: last weekend my old mate Crispy called in with a lamb and coconut curry pie from Yatala for me to review (thanks bro). If I'd known the blog would result in free stuff, I would have started one on beer, pies, cocaine and hookers years ago!

Thanks to all who responded for vindicating my opinion that the worldwide interweb was crying out for a pie blog that isn't afraid to tackle the big issues. And boy, have we got a couple for you this week!

I thought that I would share a couple of interesting responses with you that were sent to me by email during the week. The first is from Trigger, who is currently doing a tour of duty in old blighty...teaching the Poms and Safas how they should play rugby, er, cricket, er....anyway, Trigger is drinking a lot and has recently discovered a love of league that he never knew he had.

He alerted me to the Melton Mowbray pork pie. I've eaten the odd pork pie when I was 'in counrty', but was completely unaware that not only do they come from a particular region, but they have their own association: http://www.mmppa.co.uk/  Here's his email:

'I have one to add for you, its the Melton Mowbray pork pie, home of the pork pie and any other is just a plain old pork pie. Watched a program on the BBC about the making of the pork pie, this pie takes 4 days to make, all produce locally sourced in this little town in Lincolnshire, you have to google this one. Not your traditional pie as the centre pork is solid but a worthy pie contender. Anything that takes 4 days to make must be good. The only problem is its a £50 return trip from London to buy the pies (in bulk of course), actually £100 return because you have to take the misses as well, from the Ye Olde Pork Pie Shoppe in Melton Mowbray. I can taste it now!!!'

4 days to make: either they're doing something very right, or very wrong. Fascinating stuff - thanks Trigger.

Next was a perplexing email from Roobs (not his real name), who was responding to my earlier comments about removing the pie lid to facilitate rapid cooling:

...'if you actually eat the pie with a tea spoon after you have taken the top off, does it really matter that you have compromised the structural integrity of the pie by removing it’s lid in the first place?? Means I can get more tomato sauce in there as well. I also appreciate that I am probably a heathen and pie architecture luddite to you and should not refer to me and pies in the same sentence anymore...'

Ummm, Roobs - I'm really not sure where to start with this one mate. I just keep picturing you with a cloth napkin tucked into your shirt front with a tiny teaspoon poised over a defiled pie on a china plate...frankly, it's disturbing. You've managed to raise 3 very ugly and divisive points in one paragraph: (1) removing the lid; (2) using cutlery to eat a pie; and (3) tomato sauce. Now I understand why you're still waiting to hear from Ban Ki-Moon about your job application. Henry Kissinger, you ain't.

I hear that your lovely wife has now moved into the spare room as a result of you floating these radical ideas, and even the dog is no longer speaking to you. To be fair I think the issues need to be addressed individually, and put to the masses for a vote.

So today, I'd like to address the biggest one: Is it un-Australian to eat a pie with cutlery? Please cast your vote below.

Thanks again for all your suggestions, people - I'm compiling a hit list and will get to them all if it kills me (which it probably will).

Pie Heaven

OK, we'll start with a goodie: Piefection in Mt Gravatt. Piefection describes itself as 'gourmet', which in pie terms is usually an adjective to describe tiny, overpriced pies with dry and/or tasteless filling that leaves you wondering why the hell you bothered.

I once had a 'gourmet' pie (a duck and pea pie, no less) in Aria Sydney on a rare day that Matt Moran wasn't filming something for TV, and it was exactly that: dry, and 'orrible. My wife was too embarrassed to let me order some gravy to moisten the crumbly, overcooked pastry case and loosen the congealed mess within, so I ordered another bottle of red instead. A man's not a camel, after all. But I digress. Piefection is the other kind of gourmet pie - one where the ingredients are lovingly prepared and skillfully assembled by a master craftsman who isn't working on his 'Blue Steel' face for Masterchef.

Whilst the size and price of Piefection's pies could be the topic of hot debate, if this place doesn't sell the hands-down best pie in Brisbane, I'm not here. I ventured down there one lunchtime with a like-minded friend, and we ordered 4 pies and a wagyu sausage roll between us (the pies really aren't that big - honest). We were served by the owner - and chef - Matt Roman. Nice bloke. Very welcoming. Knows pies. Over his shoulder were huge pots of bubbling filling, reducing in their own juices for the next batch of pie-genius.

We had the Butter Chicken, Lamb Shank & Rosemary, Guinness Beef & Mushroom, and the holy grail of pies - the JD BBQ Pork Rib. The pastry was light, flaky and full of golden buttery goodness; glowing orange like Posh Beckham after a fresh coat of spray tan. The chicken, lamb, and beef pies were all good, but the star of the show was the pork. After the first bite, I knew I was in love...that this store would call me back with its sweet porky siren song for years to come.

The inside of this pie had tender deboned pork baby back ribs like you find in the States, but the piece de resistance was the dollop of Jack Daniels smokey BBQ sauce sitting right there on top of the meat underneath the lid. In the words of Will Ferrell in Old School: 'It tastes so good once it hits your lips! FILL IT UP AGAIN, I'LL DO ONE MORE!'

So Piefection isn't the cheapest thing getting around. You could always add the mushy peas / mash / chips / drink and make a combo if you have to. Or you could give your heart a rub, dig deep for a good cause, and buy a couple of 'em. Go on - you know you want to.